Instructor Wrap Up - Abigail Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Managing Conflict from a Theoretical Perspective

As we state at the beginning of this chapter, understanding theories can help up understand our conflicts better so that we can adapt to them more easily.  Psychodynamic theory, or example, help us understand that aggressive impulses result from internal conflict between the id and the superego, which produces frustration and tension.  The internal conflict can arise from tension, stress, insecurity, anxiety, hostility, sexual urges, or depression.  Pschodynamic theory explains displaced, misplaced, and overblown conflicts.

Attribution theory helps explain retaliatory behavior - we respond the way we do because we assume we understand why other people behave as they do.  Making internal attributions for others often results in name-calling and assigning blame.  We make external attributions to explain other's behavior when we don't like it an external attributions when we do like what we see.  Meanwhile, we do the opposite for our own behavior.

We can discuss uncertainty theory at two levels.  Conflict creates uncertainty within the relationship in which is occurs, and uncertainty also exists to different degrees within the particular conflict.  Uncertainty in the conflict situation occurs when we have insufficient information to understand another's motives, goals, or behaviors or when we do not understand another's behavior.  Uncertainty theory helps explain false conflicts.

According to social exchange theory, partners determine the value of their relationships.  Social exchange theory explains how people rate their relationships in terms of what they are giving and getting out of them.  Partners make the two comparisons to determine their level of:

1). relationship satisfaction (based on previous experiences) and 

2). relationship commitment (based on rewards/costs of alternatives)

Systems theory also deals with relationships.  A system has some purpose - it is goal-directed and adapts to its environment - a type of self-maintenance of self-regulation.  Thus the system maintains itself (homeostasis) in pursuit of a goal.  Conflicts happen as people adjust to the demands of other people in the system or to the demands of the environment on the system itself.

Sometimes people will say that a theory sounds reasonable but doesn't work in practice.  Good theories are those we can put to use.  The theories presented in this chapter are part of a conflict manager's toolbox - they help to make sense of conflict behavior and guide us in the competent choice of conflict management strategies.

Chapter Objectives:

At the end of the this chapter, you should be able to: 

1). Explain the key concepts and assumptions that identify factors that play an important role in interpersonal conflict according to each theory.

2). Explain key principles that describe how conflict develop according to each theory.

3). Identify the type of conflict explained by each theory.

4). Show how one should manage or resolve interpersonal conflicts according to each theory.

-Abigail, R.A., & Cahn, D.D., (2011)

Week of October 29 - November 4

Hello Folks!

Here is what is listed on the Participation Page from D2L for this week.  The schedule for the entire semester, and the discussion questions for the entire semester are listed on the Schedule and Participation Pages, respectively.  In case you do not want to wait for the "Monday Post", you are more than welcome to get started by looking at those two pages on D2L.

Due this week:
*Read Chapter 12 - Managing Conflict from a Theoretical Perspective
*Participate in the discussion (see questions below)
*Continue working on the Conflict Workshop Assignment.  As a reminder, this project is due in full by November 11th.  I would highly suggest that you complete the assignment early in case you run into any technical issues uploading your assignment to a video sharing website, and to the class Wiki (directions about the wiki will be sent next week).


Discussion Questions:
Answer one question in its entirety in each of your three separate posts, at least 12 hours apart. Please make sure you are creating a NEW POST for each question on your blog. You MUST WAIT at least 12 hours from the first post in order to create a second post. The same is true for the second and third post. I will record dates and time of your posts, so make sure they are at least 12 hours apart. EACH POST MUST BE 150 WORDS OR MORE. Each post is worth a maximum of 4 points.

1). Going back to Chapter 10, answer the following question:  Do an internet search using the terms forgiveness, reconciliation, and revenge.  What kids of sites do you find?  Which term produces more results?  Why do you think that is?

2). After reading Chapter 12 in its entirety, answer the following question:  When have false attributions you have made about another exacerbated a conflict situation?  Have there been times when making accurate attributions about the other has helped you?

3). Pick one concept or idea from this week's assigned reading and discuss it.  Be sure to relate the concept/idea to your personally by using examples from your life and/or experiences.

Comments - Remember to post ONE comment ON THREE DIFFERENT BLOGS between 12:01am on Monday and 11:59pm on Sunday. This means that you will log onto MY BLOG at: http://comm115perez.blogspot.com/ to see a list of your colleagues blogs. Click on those blogs, read what was posted for this week and respond. You need to make sure you are responding to only what was discussed THIS WEEK (starting Monday and ending Sunday of the current week). Comments posted to blogs that were NOT within this week will not be counted for points. Each comment must be a minimum of 100 words and is worth a maximum of 2 points.

Note about comments: When you leave a comment on another blog, make sure you are logged into your blogspot account. In other words, you will need to make sure your "Display Name/Alias Name" shows up on the blog you are commenting on. I record the locations, dates and times of your comments. Please keep record of your posts and comments in case questions arise about where comments are located.

Week of October 22 - 28

Hello Folks!

Here is what is listed on the Participation Page from D2L for this week.  The schedule for the entire semester, and the discussion questions for the entire semester are listed on the Schedule and Participation Pages, respectively.  In case you do not want to wait for the "Monday Post", you are more than welcome to get started by looking at those two pages on D2L.

Due this week:
*Read Chapter 9 - Managing Face
*Read Chapter 10 - Managing Conflict Through Forgiveness
*Present your Workshop this week.
*Participate in the discussion (see questions below)
*Quiz on Chapters 7-10 - Please log into D2L to take the quiz.

PLEASE NOTE: 
The following will be due on November 11th:

1). Video of your workshop (uploaded to You Tube or Vimeo) - a link should be added to your final paper.
2). Powerpoint presentation used during your workshop.
3). Handouts/notes used during workshop.
4). Role-playing activities used to exemplify concepts during workshop.
5). Analysis:  6-9 page paper including outside sources - see assignment sheet for more detail regarding the essay portion of the paper. This is one of the most important components of your project.
6). Detailed Time log.
7). You will also upload ALL workshop materials to the class Wiki (details will be given at a later date), so make sure that this is your best work!!!  


Please also note that the schedule reflects "Present Workshop to Selected Group".  That means that you should present your workshop THIS WEEK.The note on the schedule is simply a reminder that you should present your workshop early to allow yourself time to upload the video, write the paper, etc.....   Remember to give yourself enough time to write the 6-9 page paper based on the workshop experience.


Discussion Questions:
Answer one question in its entirety in each of your three separate posts, at least 12 hours apart. Please make sure you are creating a NEW POST for each question on your blog. You MUST WAIT at least 12 hours from the first post in order to create a second post. The same is true for the second and third post. I will record dates and time of your posts, so make sure they are at least 12 hours apart. EACH POST MUST BE 150 WORDS OR MORE. Each post is worth a maximum of 4 points.

1). After reading Chapter 9 in its entirety, answer the following question:  If you are a member of a social networking website such as Facebook, think about the way you use it.  How do you present yourself?  What impressions do you hope people will get from reading your profile?  Have there been times people have posted something to your profile that you wished they hadn't?  How does this relate to conflict and communication?

2). After reading Chapter 10 in its entirety, answer the following question:  Is there an event in your life that you find difficult to forgive?  What is it?  What makes it so difficult to forgive the other person?  If you are not experiencing a difficult event now, describe a past event that you have found difficult to forgive.

3). Pick one concept or idea from this week's assigned reading and discuss it.  Be sure to relate the concept/idea to your personally by using examples from your life and/or experiences.

Comments - Remember to post ONE comment ON THREE DIFFERENT BLOGS between 12:01am on Monday and 11:59pm on Sunday. This means that you will log onto MY BLOG at: http://comm115perez.blogspot.com/ to see a list of your colleagues blogs. Click on those blogs, read what was posted for this week and respond. You need to make sure you are responding to only what was discussed THIS WEEK (starting Monday and ending Sunday of the current week). Comments posted to blogs that were NOT within this week will not be counted for points. Each comment must be a minimum of 100 words and is worth a maximum of 2 points.

Note about comments: When you leave a comment on another blog, make sure you are logged into your blogspot account. In other words, you will need to make sure your "Display Name/Alias Name" shows up on the blog you are commenting on. I record the locations, dates and times of your comments. Please keep record of your posts and comments in case questions arise about where comments are located.

Instructor Wrap Up - Abigail Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Managing Stress

We begin our discussion of stress by identifying it as a contributor to conflict.  Stressed people may more easily fly off the handle and perhaps even turn violent.  We also identify four types of stress.  Eustress is a short-term stress that encourages us to take more seriously and expend more energy on important activities.  Hypostress, or underload, occurs when we're bored or unchallenged by our situations.  Because the eustress and hypostress are only temporary and do not lead to significant conflicts, we focused on hyperstress and distress, which offer greater challenges to the conflict manager.  Hyperstress occurs when too many tasks and responsibilities pile up on us and we are unable to adapt to the changes or cope with all that is happening at once.  One distinguishing feature of hyperstress is that the source is usually clearly identifiable and clears up quickly if we eliminate it.  Hyperstress makes it easy to experience an overblown conflict, which occurs when people greatly exaggerate a conflict, generally using a relatively unimportant issue as a focal point.  The conflict is overblown by one or more of the parties who invests far more emotion and energy than usual.  Some specific techniques for dealing with hyperstress are listed in the chapter.

Distress arises when we don't feel control over the situation and when the source of stress is unclear.  Distress is more encompassing than the other forms of stress.  It relates more to our world view, personality (Type A, too controlling, workaholic, etc...), and self-fulfilling prophecy (or expectations).  Because distress can make us appear difficult or cat in ways that appear unpleasant to others, it can contribute to conflict proneness.  

Conflict proneness due to distress occurs when people take themselves too seriously, don't enjoy what they are doing, or fail to see the humor in their everyday affairs.  Distress makes people unhappy and difficult to work or live with.

While some specific techniques are listed in the chapter for dealing with distress, a more encompassing way to manage distress is develop a playful spirit.  We suggest three ways to do that:  Make a distinction between work and play, striving for balance between them; turn work into play so that you enjoy what you do; and learn how to appreciate the bad with the good because some suffering makes us better appreciate good fortune when it occurs.

There is another more general way to deal with hyperstress and distress which is known as the ABC model.  The letter A stands for the activating event or stressor; B means our relevant beliefs or thoughts; and C refers to the consequences or effects and reaction to the stressor.  In addition to identifying stressors and relating them to consequences, the model also shows us the important role played by our thoughts and beliefs. 

We can avoid stress by minimizing the number of irrational thoughts we entertain.  We can monitor our emotional reactions to problematic situations and ask what feelings different events are arousing in us.  We can record our self-talk and make sure it is positive rather than negative.  When you write down what you are saying to yourself such as something like, "I am a failure because I received an F on this algebra test", it is easier to see that it is irrational.  By writing down your self-talk, you can also dispute your irrational beliefs by writing down rational statements instead.  If your negative self-talk includes a statement like, "I'll never understand this subject," you can dispute that by listing what you already do understand and listing places where you can seek help on this section.

If you are doing your best to alleviate hyperstress as it occurs, and to avoid distress when you can, you are much less likely to engage in destructive conflicts.  When we are stressed, it is more difficult to practice good communication skills.  Empathy is difficult during periods of hyperstress or distress.  It is hard to hear another person out and want to respond to them.  Keeping stress at an optimal low level is a way of ensuring competence in communication situations.   

At the end of this chapter, you should be able to:

1). Identify four types of stress.

2). Distinguish between hyperstress and distress.

3). Identify the sources of hyperstress in his/her lift.

4). List some of the likely sources of distress in people's lives.

5). Explain how hyperstress and distress affect one's communication behavior in a conflict situation. 

6). List three solutions for developing a more playful attitude.

7). List some specific techniques for dealing constructively with hyperstress and distress.

8). Explain the ABC model, differentiate between positive and negative beliefs, and apply the model to a conflict situation.

-Abigail, R.A., & Cahn, D.D., (2011)

Week of October 15-21

Hello Folks!

Here is what is listed on the Participation Page from D2L for this week.  The schedule for the entire semester, and the discussion questions for the entire semester are listed on the Schedule and Participation Pages, respectively.  In case you do not want to wait for the "Monday Post", you are more than welcome to get started by looking at those two pages on D2L.

Due this week:
*Read Chapter 7 - Managing Stress
*Read Chapter 8 - Managing Anger
*Participate in the discussion (see questions below)

PLEASE NOTE: 
*Supplemental Materials: Please note that the schedule indicates that the supplemental materials for your workshop is due by Sunday, October 21st. However, it is impractical for you to submit any workshop materials before you actually present your workshop.  I understand that you will revise your material, and what information you will present until the time of your workshop (my experience as a professor tells me this is true).  Because of this, you will not need to submit any supplemental materials ahead of time.  I will simply evaluate your supplemental materials when the assignment is due on November 11th.  This means that the following will be due on November 11th:

1). Video of your workshop (uploaded to You Tube or Vimeo) - a link should be added to your final paper.
2). Powerpoint presentation used during your workshop.
3). Handouts/notes used during workshop.
4). Role-playing activities used to exemplify concepts during workshop.
5). Analysis:  6-9 page paper including outside sources - see assignment sheet for more detail regarding the essay portion of the paper. 
6). Detailed Time log.
7). You will also upload ALL workshop materials to the class Wiki (details will be given at a later date), so make sure that this is your best work!!!  


Please also note that the schedule reflects 3 weeks of "Workshop Presentations Due".  That means that you should choose one of those three weeks noted on the "Schedule" page on D2L to present your workshop.The note on the schedule is simply a reminder that you should present your workshop early to allow yourself time to upload the video, write the paper, etc.....   Remember to give yourself enough time to write the 6-9 page paper based on the workshop experience.


Discussion Questions:
Answer one question in its entirety in each of your three separate posts, at least 12 hours apart. Please make sure you are creating a NEW POST for each question on your blog. You MUST WAIT at least 12 hours from the first post in order to create a second post. The same is true for the second and third post. I will record dates and time of your posts, so make sure they are at least 12 hours apart. EACH POST MUST BE 150 WORDS OR MORE. Each post is worth a maximum of 4 points.

1). After reading Chapter 7 in its entirety, answer the following question:  Look at your work and school commitments.  How might you apply each of the "three solutions" to improve how you feel about your job and school?

2). After reading Chapter 8 in its entirety, answer the following question:  Are you a person who tends to blow up, do you express your anger calmly, or do you simply not express it at all?  What are the outcomes of expressing anger in this way?

3). Pick one concept or idea from this week's assigned reading and discuss it.  Be sure to relate the concept/idea to your personally by using examples from your life and/or experiences.

Comments - Remember to post ONE comment ON THREE DIFFERENT BLOGS between 12:01am on Monday and 11:59pm on Sunday. This means that you will log onto MY BLOG at: http://comm115perez.blogspot.com/ to see a list of your colleagues blogs. Click on those blogs, read what was posted for this week and respond. You need to make sure you are responding to only what was discussed THIS WEEK (starting Monday and ending Sunday of the current week). Comments posted to blogs that were NOT within this week will not be counted for points. Each comment must be a minimum of 100 words and is worth a maximum of 2 points.

Note about comments: When you leave a comment on another blog, make sure you are logged into your blogspot account. In other words, you will need to make sure your "Display Name/Alias Name" shows up on the blog you are commenting on. I record the locations, dates and times of your comments. Please keep record of your posts and comments in case questions arise about where comments are located.

Week of October 8-14

Hello Folks!

There are two things due this week:

1).  Midterm Exam on D2L.  Please log onto D2L to take the exam.  It is open book, open notes and it covers Chapters 1-6 & 11.  Remember that the midterm is timed, and it needs to be submitted by 11:59pm on Sunday night.  Please do not share answers or test questions with fellow classmates.

2). The paper: Conflict Assessment Paper is due by Sunday, October 14th @ 11:59pm.  You should submit the paper in a single document, and send it as an attachment to the class email address.  Please be sure to submit your papers early to avoid any transmission issues.

Have a good week everyone!
:)
The Blogging Prof.

Instructor Wrap Up - Abigail Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Managing the Conflict Climate

The purpose of this chapter is to describe the role played by climate in conflict situation.  Abuse of power, competition, distrust, and defensive behavior create a hostile, dangerous, and harmful conflict environment that produces unsatisfactory outcomes for one or both parties.  Unabusive power or equality, cooperation, trust, and supportive behavior create a warm, friendly, and nurturing conflict environment that is more likely to produce mutually satisfactory outcomes.

Abusive power contributes to a harmful conflict climate because it is perceived as threatening.  The more powerful person in the conflict situation has greater latitude in using power in abusive and unabusive ways.  Those who abuse power may find that the other person responds in passive or passive-aggressive ways in order to avoid threats and abuse.  Although it is difficult to embrace the idea of giving up power, something doing so is one's best option in resolving conflict.  At the very lease, deemphasizing power differences leads to a nurturing conflict climate.  Those with less power in the situation should also seek opportunities to be more assertive, use power-neutral language, and take responsibility for the outcomes in the conflict situation.

Competition becomes part of a harmful conflict climate when the parties view the conflict situation only in terms of win-lose outcomes.  This perception results in the conflicting parties seeing themselves as individuals who must win at all costs.  By shifting to a conflict in terms of win-win outcomes, the conflicting parties can view themselves as partners, where maintaining and preserving the relationship is as important, if not more, than winning an argument or forcing one's decision on another.

Both distrust and unhealthy trust are threatening to an interpersonal relationship when they contribute to a harmful conflict climate.  Some people distrust others too much and some are too trusting. Earned trust contributes to a nurturing conflict climate.  People maintain the trust of others when they continue to act in cooperative ways, avoid suspicious activity, and reciprocate in trusting ways to the action of the other.

Critical to our success in conflict situations is the use of communicative behavior that is supportive and nonthreatening.  Conflicting parties should try to establish a nurturing conflict climate by being supportive and not being defensive.  The most significant steps toward creating supportive climate are found in communication that describes behavior rather than judges it, that is oriented toward solving problems rather than assigning blame, that focuses on description and problem solution rather than "you-orientation", that manifests an attitude of empathy rather than an attitude that is neutral and unconcerned, and that conveys a sense of equality with the other rather than a position of superiority.  Finally, a supportive climate is created spontaneously rather than through behavior perceived as strategic an through talk that suggests that the conversation is still in progress rather than certain and final.

The concept of defensive behavior differs from that of power imbalance.  While a few defensive behaviors are sometimes associated with people in positions of power, such as evaluation (criticizing), control (being dominating), neutrality (lacking interesting in subordinates problems), and superiority ("pulling rank"), defensive behaviors may appear irrespective of power.  They are more consistently associated with feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, fear, or uncertainty that make one turn defensive in a threatening situation.  When powerful people manifest defensive behaviors, it is an indication of feelings of insecurity about their role as supervisor, leader, or parent.

Communicators who create nurturing climates are more likely to create mutually satisfying outcomes because they participate in the decisions, agreements, solutions, and resolution of conflicts that affect them.  If we feel safe enough to assert our interests, needs, and goals; listen to others; and collaborate in interpersonal conflict, we are more likely to achieve mutually satisfying outcomes. 

Chapter Objectives

At the end of the chapter, you should be able to:

1). Describe the role that climate generally plays in conflict situations. 

2). Describe specifically the role played by an imbalance of power in a conflict situation and explain how to equalize power.

3). Describe specifically the role played by competition in a conflict situation and explain how to encourage cooperation.

4). Describe specifically the role played by distrust in a conflict situation and explain how to create trust.

5). Describe specifically the role played by defensive behaviors in a conflict situation and explain how to engage and encourage supportive behaviors.

6). Explain how the concept of defensive behaviors differs from that of power imbalance.  

-Abigail, R.A., & Cahn, D.D., (2011)

Prof. on Campus

Hello Fabulous Students,

I will be on campus Wednesday and Thursday of this week if you would like to meet with me f2f.  That means that my online office hours on Thursday will be canceled because I will hold office hours in person. 

I should be in my office from about 11:00am to 12:00pm if you would like to stop by.  However, please let me know if you will be stopping by so that I can make sure I will be in my office when you get there.  I have a number of meetings to go to, and will likely be running around the department during that time, so please contact me to let me know you'll be stopping by.

My office location is HGH 216

See y'all soon!
TBP

Week of October 1-7

Hello Folks!

Here is what is listed on the Participation Page from D2L for this week.  The schedule for the entire semester, and the discussion questions for the entire semester are listed on the Schedule and Participation Pages, respectively.  In case you do not want to wait for the "Monday Post", you are more than welcome to get started by looking at those two pages on D2L.

Due this week:
*Read Chapter 6 - Managing the Conflict Climate
*Participate in the discussion (see questions below)
*Continue working on your first course essay:  "Conflict Assessment Paper".  As a reminder, the CAP assignment is due next week.
*Study for Midterm:  The midterm will cover Chapters 1-6, & 11, and will be available next week.


Discussion Questions:
Answer one question in its entirety in each of your three separate posts, at least 12 hours apart. Please make sure you are creating a NEW POST for each question on your blog. You MUST WAIT at least 12 hours from the first post in order to create a second post. The same is true for the second and third post. I will record dates and time of your posts, so make sure they are at least 12 hours apart. EACH POST MUST BE 150 WORDS OR MORE. Each post is worth a maximum of 4 points.

1). After reading Chapter 6 in its entirety, answer the following question:  When have you ever lost trust in someone?  How did you react to the loss of trust?  How was the trust restored?

2). After reading Chapter 6 in its entirety, answer the following question:  How does it feel when you are in an unbalanced power relationship?  What is it like to have more power?  Less power?

3). Pick one concept or idea from this week's assigned reading and discuss it.  Be sure to relate the concept/idea to your personally by using examples from your life and/or experiences.

Comments - Remember to post ONE comment ON THREE DIFFERENT BLOGS between 12:01am on Monday and 11:59pm on Sunday. This means that you will log onto MY BLOG at: http://comm115perez.blogspot.com/ to see a list of your colleagues blogs. Click on those blogs, read what was posted for this week and respond. You need to make sure you are responding to only what was discussed THIS WEEK (starting Monday and ending Sunday of the current week). Comments posted to blogs that were NOT within this week will not be counted for points. Each comment must be a minimum of 100 words and is worth a maximum of 2 points.

Note about comments: When you leave a comment on another blog, make sure you are logged into your blogspot account. In other words, you will need to make sure your "Display Name/Alias Name" shows up on the blog you are commenting on. I record the locations, dates and times of your comments. Please keep record of your posts and comments in case questions arise about where comments are located.