Submitting Assignments

Hi Folks,

My deepest apologies for not making this a bit more clear, but all assignments should be submitted to me at the class email address.

Let me know if any questions arise.

:)
TBP

Instructor Wrap Up - Abigail Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Managing Win-Lose Conflicts through Negotiation

The type of conflict issue makes a difference because we should manage some conflicts differently than others.  Some conflicts are over tangible issues and other focus on intangible issues.  What is the difference between a tangible and an intangible conflict issue?  Intangible resources are emotional, mental and psychological assets, and are not limited by nature.  Consequently, issues relational to intangible resources are often resolved through interpersonal communication.  In contrast, tangible resources are physical and observable.  Because tangible resources are often scarce, conflicts involving such issues take more than basic interpersonal communication skills to resolve; the require more advanced conflict management skills, in particular, negotiation techniques.

When confronted with a conflict over an intangible resource, skilled conflict managers follow the minimax principle to minimize their losses and maximize their gains.  They start bargaining with an aspiration level but also have a resistance point in mind.  While negotiating, a skilled conflict manager considers her or his Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA) as a standard by which to measure the value of offers from others.  One implication of this idea is that one should expect to make some concessions, so it pays to set a goal higher than one thinks possible to maintain.  Negotiators who make concessions are more likely to elicit cooperative behavior from the other party than are those who make no concessions at all.

Skilled conflict managers also strive for a win-win outcome.  Such outcomes are more likely to occur when the parties trust each other and the situation is one in which mutually satisfactory outcomes are possible, even though the parties may not know that at the outset.

Whether we approach a conflict from a minimax principle or a win-win orientation, it is important for the conflicting parties to expand the solutions to the problem by brainstorming, focusing on the interests of the people involved rather than on their articulated positions, cutting costs for the other party, compensating, logrolling, and trying to agree ahead of time on objective criteria.

How do effective conflict managers employ addition means to convert a potentially competitive conflict into a cooperative one?  They do this by separating people from the problem, making concessions, seeking commonalities, talking cooperation, consulting before acting, communicating frequently, controlling the process, thinking positively, and engaging in fractionation.

Chapter Objectives:

At the end of this chapter, students should be able to: 

1). Explain the difference between a tangible and an intangible conflict issue.

2). Explain the assumption behind negotiation in which people try to minimize their losses and maximize their gains.

3). Distinguish between competitive and cooperative negotiation and explain when each approach is most appropriate.

4). Describe six ways to generate more options.

5). List several additional ways that one can convert a potentially competitive negotiation into a cooperative one.

6). Define BATNA and fractionation.


-Abigail, R.A., & Cahn, D.D., (2011)

Grades have been updated in D2L

Hello Fabulous Students,

I have entered grade into D2L for the following items:

Discussion Week of Sept. 10-16

Discussion week of Sept. 17-23 

As a reminder, it is your responsibility to check your grades often (at least once a week), and email me if you have any questions.

Have a great day everyone!
:)
The Blogging Prof.

Week of September 24-30

 Hello Folks!

Here is what is listed on the Participation Page from D2L for this week.

NOTE: The schedule for the entire semester, and the discussion questions for the entire semester are listed on the Schedule and Participation Pages, respectively.  In case you do not want to wait for the "Monday Post", you are more than welcome to get started by looking at those two pages on D2L.

Due this week:
*Read Chapter 5  - Managing Win-Lose Conflicts through Negotiation
*There is no discussion this week.
*Conflict Assessment Paper: due by Oct 14th @ 11:59pm.

*Work on Project Proposal:  There are a number of steps that you will need to complete for this project, the first being a Project Proposal.  You should read through the assignment sheet in its entirety, and work on the Proposal this week.   The proposal is due by the end of the week on Sunday, Sept 30th.  It should only be a 1-2 page proposal, however, you will need to do some research for the proposal, and submit a reference list you plan on using (see assignment sheet for more detail).  Email me with any questions you might have about the Conflict Resolution Workshop assignment.

Reminder:  I hold office hours of Tuesday's and Thursday's from 9:30am to 11:30am on Yahoo Messenger.  I can also chat with students over the phone during that time, or at your convenience.  We can always make an appointment to chat over the phone in case you need clarification about something in the class.  And of course, I'm always available through email.

Instructor Wrap Up - Abigail Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Responding to Conflict - the S-TLC System

It's important to recognize that communication is not simply saying what's on one's mind.  Communication (and, by extension, conflict) isn't something we do to the other person, but something we do with one another (like teamwork of like a dance).

In addition, this chapter introduces you to one of the most important tools in conflict management - the S-TLC system.  The S-TLC system teaches us to stop, think, listen, and then communicate with the other person.   By following these four steps, we can often resolve interpersonal conflicts through basic communication skills.

"Stop" means not reacting blindly and responding habitually to the other person.  When we take time out, we can then consider our options and try to exercise them rationally.  After we have stopped, we need to think, or analyze the situation to try to know what is really happening within it and the range of possibilities it presents.  Rather than taking the conflict personally, we need to think about the consequences of doing nothing or about changing the other person, the situation, or ourselves.  We need to consider the conflicting parties' instrumental, identity, relational, and process goals.

After stopping and thinking, it is important to listen to the other person.  Listening to the other does not mean we have to agree with the other.  It simply means that we consider the others opinion important, and that we try to hear and understand it before we make a point or saying what's on our mind.  Although our tendency is to become defensive when we hear a critical remark, listening without immediately defending oneself can make the difference between a productive and destructive conflict.

To help students create assertive messages for expressing their feelings, wants, and needs during the fourth step of the confrontation process, we encourage them to use personalized communication - language using I-statements (i.e., I think, I feel) versus "you" or depersonalized statements (i.e., "you always", "most people think").  These I-statements consist of four parts:

*I feel (feeling statement)

*when I (problematic behavior statement)

*because I (consequences statement)

*I'd like (goals statement)

Chapter Objectives:

At the end of this chapter, students should be able to:

1). Briefly explain the S-TLC system for dealing with conflict situations.

2). Briefly explain how to "stop" and not respond habitually when in a conflict situation.

3). Explain in depth different ways to "think" about a conflict.

4). Offer constructive advice to someone who doesn't "listen" well.

5). Briefly explain why the transactional model of communication is preferable to the linear model for managing conflict situations.

6). Correctly create a four-part I-statement.


-Abigail, R.A., & Cahn, D.D., (2011)

Week of Sept. 17 - 23

Hello Folks!

Here is what is listed on the Participation Page from D2L for this week.  The schedule for the entire semester, and the discussion questions for the entire semester are listed on the Schedule and Participation Pages, respectively.  In case you do not want to wait for the "Monday Post", you are more than welcome to get started by looking at those two pages on D2L.

Due this week:
*Read Chapter 4 - Responding to Conflict: The S-TLC System
*Participate in the discussion (see questions below)
*Continue working on your first course essay:  "Conflict Assessment Paper".
*Start working on the Proposal for the Conflict Workshop (assignment sheet is available on D2L)


Discussion Questions:
Answer one question in its entirety in each of your three separate posts, at least 12 hours apart. Please make sure you are creating a NEW POST for each question on your blog. You MUST WAIT at least 12 hours from the first post in order to create a second post. The same is true for the second and third post. I will record dates and time of your posts, so make sure they are at least 12 hours apart. EACH POST MUST BE 150 WORDS OR MORE. Each post is worth a maximum of 4 points.

1). After reading Chapter 4 in its entirety, answer the following question:  How hard is it for you to stop a conflict?  If you find it easy to not respond automatically, what advice can you give others who have trouble with this step?  Whether you find this step difficult or not, what ways do you prefer if you try to take a "time out"?

2). After reading Chapter 4 in its entirety, answer the following question:  What are you thinking about when others talk?  Do you concentrate on what they are saying or do you think about your own ideas instead?  After listening to someone, an you write down most of what that person told you?  If not, why?

3). Pick one concept or idea from this week's assigned reading and discuss it.  Be sure to relate the concept/idea to your personally by using examples from your life and/or experiences.

Comments - Remember to post ONE comment ON THREE DIFFERENT BLOGS between 12:01am on Monday and 11:59pm on Sunday. This means that you will log onto MY BLOG at: http://comm115perez.blogspot.com/ to see a list of your colleagues blogs. Click on those blogs, read what was posted for this week and respond. You need to make sure you are responding to only what was discussed THIS WEEK (starting Monday and ending Sunday of the current week). Comments posted to blogs that were NOT within this week will not be counted for points. Each comment must be a minimum of 100 words and is worth a maximum of 2 points.

Note about comments: When you leave a comment on another blog, make sure you are logged into your blogspot account. In other words, you will need to make sure your "Display Name/Alias Name" shows up on the blog you are commenting on. I record the locations, dates and times of your comments. Please keep record of your posts and comments in case questions arise about where comments are located.

Grades have been updated in D2L

Hello Fabulous Students,

I have entered grade into D2L for the following items:

Discussion Week of Sept3-9

I normally will not email you individually regarding your grades.  It is your responsibility to check your grades often (at least once a week), and email me if you have any questions.

Have a great day everyone!
:)
The Blogging Prof.

Instructor Wrap Up - Abigail Chapter 11

The study and practice of effective mediation is a natural fit for students of communication and conflict.  For those who have gone through formal training, it is clear that it offers a practical application of many skills taught in undergraduate interpersonal communication and conflict management courses.  However, we must shift our thinking from dealing with our own conflicts to helping others resolve theirs.

When should we intervene in other people's conflicts?  Help is needed when a dispute exists, meaning that the two parties are unable to resolve the conflict on their own.  Unlike other alternatives to dispute resolution, such as conciliation, ombudsperson, arbitrator, and adjudication/litigation, mediators are unbiased third parties who facilitate communication between the conflicting parties so that the conflicting parties can work out their own agreement.

A typical mediation usually proceeds through the following steps:
1). One or both disputants seek mediation or a mediator may talk them into it.
2). The mediator brings the disputants together and makes an opening statement.
3). Following the mediator's opening statement, each person takes a few minutes to describe the dispute from his or her point of view without interruption.
4). The mediator finds common ground on which to build an agreement.
5). The mediator writes up the final agreement.
6). The mediator ends the mediation.

When drafting the agreement, mediators need to employ the following format:  X agrees to this, and Y agrees to that.  The mediators should attempt to keep the agreement simple.  They use clear, specific details (spelling out who, what, where, when, how).  It helps to think of the agreement as a list of behavioral commitments because it enumerates the specific observable actions each party needs to take to fulfill the agreement.  In developing the agreement, the mediators should strive for balance or "something for everyone".  The agreement also needs to address questions of feasibility and practicality - both parties  should find the agreement workable.  Finally, the culminating step occurs when the mediators ask both parties to sign the agreement.

The chapter concludes our presentation of the core concepts involved in effective conflict management.  The afterword presents an overall view of the effective conflict manager.

Chapter Objectives:
At the end of this chapter, the student should be able to:
1). Describe the difference between formal and informal mediation.
2). Define mediation and contrast it with the other alternatives to dispute resolution (ADRs).
3). Explain when a third party should intervene as a mediator.
4). Describe the role of the mediator.


Personal Note:
I trained as a mediator at the end of 2010 in Nevada County.  The trainers were a panel of licensed Therapists, Lawyers, Businessperson, and lay volunteers.  The training was amazing!  As in most mediation trainings, we did a lot of role playing.  We were given manuals, tools, and experience to bring us up to a place where we could safely mediate as experts.  After the training I volunteered at the Nevada County Courthouse to observe and practice my mediation skills.  The process was fascinating.  All of the tools the trainers gave us were put into practice, just as we had experienced during our training.

Because we were volunteers at a courthouse (a partnership with the group of mediators and the courthouse), all decisions were submitted to the court as 'binding' agreements.  So not only were we able to mediate, the decisions that were made by both parties were signed, and submitted to the court.  Of course there were specific forms we needed to fill out, certain processes that needed to be followed, because we were, after all mediating court cases.

I learned many things throughout my mediation training and volunteer work.  A few of the main principles that I learned were these:

1). Mediators keep all information confidential.  That means that what is discussed at the mediation STAYS at the mediation table.  (You know the phrase, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas"?  Yeah, same principle here!).
2). Mediators must remain neutral at all times.
3). Expert communication skills are absolutely essential to the mediation process.
4). Have faith in the mediation process.  Highlighting common ground, reflective listening and reiterating respect is key.
5). There is a vast difference between the mediation process, arbitration process and litigation process.

The process of mediation is wonderful.  Not only can a mediation help with unresolved issues, more times than not emotional issues are brought up, hurts, anger, values, misinformation, etc...  The list goes on and on.  There is certainly a place for arbitration and litigation in this world, however, it can be argued that most disputes can be settled with mediation.

I hope you liked this chapter as much as I did!

Here's a brief video of a staged mediation:

-Abigail, R.A., & Cahn, D.D., (2011)

Week of September 10-16

Hello Folks!

Here is what is listed on the Participation Page from D2L for this week.  The schedule for the entire semester, and the discussion questions for the entire semester are listed on the Schedule and Participation Pages, respectively.  In case you do not want to wait for the "Monday Post", you are more than welcome to get started by looking at those two pages on D2L.

Due this week:
*Read Chapter 11 - Managing Others' Disputes through Mediation
*Participate in the discussion (see questions below)
*Quiz on D2L: Chapters 1, 2, 3, & 11
*Continue working on your first course essay:  "Conflict Assessment Paper". 


Discussion Questions:
Answer one question in its entirety in each of your three separate posts, at least 12 hours apart. Please make sure you are creating a NEW POST for each question on your blog. You MUST WAIT at least 12 hours from the first post in order to create a second post. The same is true for the second and third post. I will record dates and time of your posts, so make sure they are at least 12 hours apart. EACH POST MUST BE 150 WORDS OR MORE. Each post is worth a maximum of 4 points.

1). After reading Chapter 11 in its entirety, answer the following question:  Why should communication majors make good mediators?  What might lawyers and psychotherapists find it difficult to effectively play the role of mediator?

2). After reading Chapter 11 in its entirety, answer the following question:  How might you use techniques such as fractionation, framing, reframing, and common ground for solving problems that don't involve interpersonal conflicts?

3). Pick one concept or idea from this week's assigned reading and discuss it.  Be sure to relate the concept/idea to your personally by using examples from your life and/or experiences.

Comments - Remember to post ONE comment ON THREE DIFFERENT BLOGS between 12:01am on Monday and 11:59pm on Sunday. This means that you will log onto MY BLOG at: http://comm115perez.blogspot.com/ to see a list of your colleagues blogs. Click on those blogs, read what was posted for this week and respond. You need to make sure you are responding to only what was discussed THIS WEEK (starting Monday and ending Sunday of the current week). Comments posted to blogs that were NOT within this week will not be counted for points. Each comment must be a minimum of 100 words and is worth a maximum of 2 points.

Note about comments: When you leave a comment on another blog, make sure you are logged into your blogspot account. In other words, you will need to make sure your "Display Name/Alias Name" shows up on the blog you are commenting on. I record the locations, dates and times of your comments. Please keep record of your posts and comments in case questions arise about where comments are located.

Grades have been updated in D2L

Hello Fabulous Students,

I have entered grade into D2L for the following items:

Created Blog - this means that you created and sent me your information by the due date.  If you have received no credit for this item it is because you did not send me your information by the deadline.

Discussion Week of Aug 27 - Sept. 2 - This will be entered by tomorrow night at the latest.  Check back for an update.

I normally will not email you individually regarding your grades.  It is your responsibility to check your grades often (at least once a week), and email me if you have any questions.

Have a great day everyone!
:)
The Blogging Prof.

Instructor Wrap Up - Abigail Chapter 3

This chapter identifies the choices we can make in conflict situations.  Just as there are many different types of conflicts and kinds of conflict issues, so there are different ways that we can respond to conflicts.  Many people don't realize that they have options and can freely choose among them, with differing results.

A person may choose to respond to a conflict non-assertively by avoiding the conflict altogether or by accommodating the other person's goals.  When the conflict is not important to us. avoiding and accommodating can be appropriate responses.  However, when we take this other-centered orientation, we run the risk of ignoring important issues until they grow so large that it is difficult to address them effectively.

On the other hand, a person may take a self-centered orientation and respond to the conflict behavior of another competitively by responding with overt aggression is seldom warranted except in situations of self-defense.  Passive-aggressive behavior is warranted when there is implied danger in confronting the other, but it is not a good response over the long term.

Sometimes we choose a relationship-centered orientation and split the difference and compromise with the other person.  In important conflicts, though, our best option is to choose collaboration by assertively speaking up for our interests, concerns, or rights in a way that does not interfere with the interests or basic communication rights of others.

Effective communicators are frequently assertive, sometimes non assertive, and rarely aggressive.  How does one determine when to choose one option over another?  Three factors everyone should consider when choosing among the four conflict communication options are the occasion/time/location, the other person, and one's own needs.  The communication considerations described in this chapter can help us decide when it is appropriate to use one type of conflict communication behavior or another.

Our first response in a conflict situation is not necessarily the best one.  We need to slow down, thing about the situation, and then respond to the other, using skills discussed in this chapter.  The only way to develop conflict skills is to use them in conflict situations.

-Abigail, R.A., & Cahn, D.D., (2011)

Week of September 3 - 9

Hello Folks!

Here is what is listed on the Participation Page from D2L for this week.  The schedule for the entire semester, and the discussion questions for the entire semester are listed on the Schedule and Participation Pages, respectively.  In case you do not want to wait for the "Monday Post", you are more than welcome to get started by looking at those two pages on D2L.

Due this week:
*Read Chapter 3 - Communication Options in Conflict
*Participate in the discussion (see questions below)
*Start working on your first course essay:  "Conflict Assessment Paper". 


Discussion Questions:
Answer one question in its entirety in each of your three separate posts, at least 12 hours apart. Please make sure you are creating a NEW POST for each question on your blog. You MUST WAIT at least 12 hours from the first post in order to create a second post. The same is true for the second and third post. I will record dates and time of your posts, so make sure they are at least 12 hours apart. EACH POST MUST BE 150 WORDS OR MORE. Each post is worth a maximum of 4 points.

1). After reading Chapter 3 in its entirety, answer the following question:  In dealing with conflicts, do you find that you tend toward one orientation over another?  Are you satisfied with the outcome of conflicts when you act from this orientation?  Do you favor the orientation all the time or are there exceptions?

2). After reading Chapter 3 in its entirety, answer the following question:  Sometimes abusive parents say they merely teach strict discipline.  What do you think is the difference between pushing and disciplining a child?  When do people overstep their paternal authority to punish their children? 

3). Pick one concept or idea from this week's assigned reading and discuss it.  Be sure to relate the concept/idea to your personally by using examples from your life and/or experiences.

Comments - Remember to post ONE comment ON THREE DIFFERENT BLOGS between 12:01am on Monday and 11:59pm on Sunday. This means that you will log onto MY BLOG at: http://comm115perez.blogspot.com/ to see a list of your colleagues blogs. Click on those blogs, read what was posted for this week and respond. You need to make sure you are responding to only what was discussed THIS WEEK (starting Monday and ending Sunday of the current week). Comments posted to blogs that were NOT within this week will not be counted for points. Each comment must be a minimum of 100 words and is worth a maximum of 2 points.

Note about comments: When you leave a comment on another blog, make sure you are logged into your blogspot account. In other words, you will need to make sure your "Display Name/Alias Name" shows up on the blog you are commenting on. I record the locations, dates and times of your comments. Please keep record of your posts and comments in case questions arise about where comments are located.

Trouble Commenting?

Hello Folks,

IMPORTANT NOTE:  If you comment on a blog post, you should always reload the webpage (or return later) to see if you can see your comments published.  If you cannot see your comments published on the other students blog post I cannot see your comments to give you points for them.   You should always keep track of your posts and comments by using the "Track Posts and Comments" sheet that is uploaded to D2L under "Getting Started".  However, it is your responsibility to make sure that your posts are published correctly.  99 times out of 100, comments that are not posted correctly is user error.

If you have trouble commenting on posts, please follow these directions:

1). Make sure you are using Firefox as your web-browser (download HERE)
2). Open up Firefox as your web-browser and log into your blog.
3). Open a new tab in the web-browser and link to my blog, and start reading other students blogs (student blog tab is at the top).  Once you have found a blog you want to comment on, click "comment" below the post.
4). Type in your comment and then click on the drop down menu where it says "Comment As".
5). Choose "Google Account"
6). Since you are already logged into your blog in one of the open tabs, you should have no problem seeing your comment.

You can certainly experiment by leaving a message on one of my blog posts if you'd like.
:)
The Blogging Prof.

Instructor Wrap Up - Abigail Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A Process View of Conflict

From your authors: 

In this chapter, we describe the process of conflict and different ways conflict unfolds as people begin to experience issues with someone close to them.  The key to effective conflict management is an understanding of both what gives rise to conflict (what we have termed the prelude to conflict and triggering event) and what occurs at the subsequent stages - the initiation phase, differentiation phase, and the resolution phase.

The prelude to conflict sets the stage by identifying the people, place, and time of the conflict.  At the next stage, a triggering event functions as a stimulus, often leading to the initiation of conflict, followed by the initiation phase, which is the response to a triggering event.  The subsequent differentiation phase is the ongoing interaction pattern in which most of the conflict communication occurs.  Finally, in the resolution phase conflict participants come to a mutually satisfactory agreement or outcome.

Often people will get caught up in destructive cycles that do not allow their conflict to progress to some satisfactory outcome.  The conflict avoidance cycle and the chilling effect are characteristic of a relationship between people whose first impulse is to avoid the initiating conflict or to quickly withdraw when conflict arise. They serve as examples of how unsuccessful conflicts become mired down in one of the first four stages, namely at stage two.  In this case, the conflict has a prelude stage (e.g., one more more of the participants has a past history of poorly managing conflicts), followed by a stage two triggering event (e.g., one partner forgets an important date), but instead of progressing to stage three initiation, the offended individual does not initiate the conflict because she or he prefers not to engage in conflict.  The chilling effect occurs in situations where one fears the outcome.

The competitive conflict escalation has a prelude stage (e.g., one or more of the participants has a past history of poorly managed conflicts) followed by stage two triggering event (e.g., one partner forgets an important date) and moves through stage three initiation, but gets locked into stage four differentiation, instead of progressing to the final stage resolution. 

The violence cycle has a prelude and a trigger, but from the moment of initiation the conflict is enacted with verbal aggression that escalates into conflict. In this case, the cycle gets locked into stage three, without ever really exploring differences or coming to some sort of resolution.

The way we view our relationship with the other person, our past successes and failures in enacting conflict with the other, how we identify an issue, how we assign blame, and how we voice our complaint all affect our pattern of interaction in conflict situations.  Potentially productive conflict behavior exists somewhere in the maze of options.  In each stage of productive conflict we can choose to spin off into the avoidance, chilling effect, and competitive cycles.  As with the destructive cycles, productive conflict behavior stems from attitudes and beliefs about conflict.

When we see conflict as a normal part of relationships and when we listen to others and assert ourselves, we are less likely to become mired down in a destructive conflict cycle.  We have devised the following six confrontation steps to effectively manage interpersonal conflict.

1). Preparation: Identify your problem/needs/issues.
2). Tell the person "We need to talk".
3). Interpersonal confrontation: Talk to the other person about your problem.
4). Consider your partner's point of view: Listen, empathize, and respond with understanding.
5). Resolve the problem:  Make a mutually satisfying agreement.
6). Follow up on the solution:  Set a time for reevaluation.

We would like to say that confrontation always produces mutually satisfying results, but this is not true.  Although confrontation works more often then not and sometimes with surprising results, there are times when the other person is uncooperative, the issue is too complex, and we don't have enough time or energy to do it right.  As teachers, we authors encounter many pessimistic students who are reluctant to try the six steps; however many report excellent results and a change of hear after applying them while confronting someone about a significant issue.